Dapper
written by
Andy KJ CRAGG
andyc@andykjcragg.co.uk
INT. Dapper's fronT room - DAY
A DAPPER gentlemen (60's - Bill Nigh ideally) sits in his favourite old armchair and places a brand new top of the range iPhone on the arm of the chair. Wagner is playing on the stereo, we see the HiFi and the CD text scrolling. DAPPER settles in and starts to conduct the music. DAPPER has a slight twitch in his left eye.
A PING! From the iPhone and the CD player and Amp turn themselves off and the room goes silent. DAPPER tilts the iPhone toward him.
DAPPER
Fuck! And just before the second movement. Well, here goes.
We see the SMS - "NOW! And by 15:15 please."
We see the big clock above the fireplace, it says 10:45, then CUT TO the DAPPER's wristwatch, same.
EXT. HIGH STREET - CONTINUOUS
DAPPER is walking purposefully along a row of shops, but not obviously breaking a sweat. DAPPER tips his hat with his left hand to a young lady (THE GIRL) passing in the opposite direction.
INT - newsagents - CONTINUOUS
DAPPER slams down a copy of The Star on the NEWSAGENTs counter. We look up and see THE NEWSAGENT nod. Then CUT TO DAPPER leaving the shop. The bell rings. Then CUT TO The Star still where it was.
INT - JEWELLERS - CONTINUOUS
DAPPER, THE GIRL, THE NEWSAGENT are casually looking around the shop. Zoom on each highly valuable, and highly grab-able item - a watch, a pendant, a signet ring, etc - we see the price tags too, briefly - thousands in all. We focus on the JEWELLER behind his/her counter.
JEWELLER
How may I help you sir?
DAPPER
I was wondering if you'd let me have all these for free?
We see all the items neatly lined up in front of the JEWELLER.
JEWELLER
I'm sorry, sir?
We see DAPPER, THE GIRL and THE NEWSAGENT holding guns towards the JEWELLER.
JEWELLER
Would you like me to gift wrap them for you?
INT - FENCE'S LOCKUP - CONTINUOUS
We are now in a lockup on an industrial estate somewhere anonymous. We see the nicked jewellery in front of THE FENCE who is examining them carefully. Only DAPPER is there with THE FENCE.
FENCE
Fine pieces. Give me twenty four hours. About twenty four thousand?
DAPPER
Thirty five. And you have an hour.
FENCE
Impossible.
DAPPER
Remember Haringey?
FENCE
I'm no longer that young man.
DAPPER
Find one then. One hour or we blow your gaff.
FENCE
Haringey. Ok. Thirty thousand and about fifty minutes.
DAPPER
Done.
INT. CAFE - CONTINUOUS
DAPPER is sitting a table drinking coffee. Jump cuts to show the 50 minutes going by - more coffee, phone, loo, cake, newspaper.
INT - FENCE'S LOCKUP - CONTINUOUS
FENCE hands DAPPER a briefcase. DAPPER opens it and flips through the piles of new notes. A chyron shows the amount, all adding up to 31k, one more than agreed on.
DAPPER
Nice, thank you.
FENCE
A pleasure. Until the next time!
FENCE raises a glass whisky. DAPPER closes the briefcase and is exiting the lockup...
DAPPER
Bottoms up!
INT. PLush office - CONTINUOUS
We see MR BIG take the briefcase from DAPPER who opens it and does the same counting as DAPPER has done before with the total reaching 29k.
MR BIG
Thankyou.
(looks at his watch, 15:05)
Ten minutes, good. A pay rise for you. Expect a package from Miss Goodyear.
INT. Family house - CONTINUOUS
DAPPER and MISS GOODYEAR are in a suburban living room, possibly the noise of kids playing upstairs, all very domestic. MISS GOODYEAR is wearing a tabard like a cleaning lady. She hands DAPPER a package wrapped in brown paper.
On the TV in the background we see glimpses of MR BIG, MISS GOODYEAR, THE GIRL, THE NEWSAGENT and FENCE.
MISS GOODYEAR
Tea?
DAPPER
Yes, that would be lovely. No sugar, and only a dash of milk.
INT. Police station - CONTINUOUS
We move down a corridor with doors off to interview rooms. One by one we see MR BIG, MISS GOODYEAR, THE GIRL, THE NEWSAGENT and FENCE each being interviewed separately.
INT. DAPPER'S FRONT ROOM - EVENING
We hear Oasis and see the CD text scrolling and the old armchair. There is an top of the range Android phone on the arm. On the floor are empty cans of Stella.
In close up around his body, we see a man slump into the chair. He's wearing a tracksuit, trainers, hair is a bit greasy, he's overweight. As we zoom out we see someone not at all like DAPPER (use a different actor?). He has a twitch in his left eye.