Andy KJ Cragg


A small English country village

I'm in the middle of this, not sure what to do now really. Perhaps move it along a bit, get things going. Going to my advantage, yes, now let me see. Hmm. Ok, right, so here's the thing, where are we likely to end up? Is it where we all want to be? I think so, but first we have to sort some things out. One, I'd say, is to get rid of Barry, two, get Alice more involved, and make me, yes me, chairman. Or chair, more properly. What do we think?

Resounding cries of support for Barry, sniffing at Alice and a vote to get rid of me! 6 votes to one. So I'm out then. Ah well, too good for them, I'll find another club where my talents are recognised. Where to start? The bowls club, they seem to be a nice, gentle sort of lot, I'll ring Brian, he's a decent fellow. Ring, ring, Brian James speaking, how may I help you? Ah, hello Brian, it's Alan, Alan Browning, remember me? Yes, hello Alan, we were just talking about you as a matter of fact, Maggie and me, apparently they threw you out of the bridge club, is that right? Not entirely, I left of my own accord, Brian. Not what I heard, and I suppose you're ringing me to join the bowls? Yes, Brian, exactly, I think I could do great things with the bowls, so I was wondering ... Stop right there Alan, we have our quota of members right now and we're not looking to take any more, sorry Alan, out of my hands. Click buzz. Well.

Cricket club, there was definitely an advert in the local rag about it, wanting more behind the scenes help. Now, where is that paper? Rustle, rustle, here we are - right, an Ian White, ok, ring ring ring ring ring, click answering machine - yes, I shall leave a message. Hello, I'm calling in regards to your advert in the Herald last week and I would like to join in the, er, the um, behinds the scenes lot - give me a call back on 07700 900766 when you get a chance, it's a Mr Alan Browning. Click, should do it.

Ring ring ring ring. Hello? Is that Alan Browning? Yes, that's me, ah good, I'm Ian White and I run the cricket club and got your message. Ah good thank you for ringing back Ian, good of you. Yes, well, er it's bad news for you I'm afraid - but good for us, as we now have all the help we need backstage as it were, a terrific response to the advert. I must write to the Herald and let them know, yes, terrific response, but sorry to the the bringer of bad news, Alan. We'll keep your number on file, as they say, and if anything pops up, well, we'll be sure to let you know. I don't suppose you're fit enough to play, though, are you? Ah, no, not really, bit of a dodgy elbow, actually. So that's it then, I can't join? Not at the moment, Alan, I'm really sorry. Ok, well it was worth a punt, thanks for ringing back and letting me know. No problems, see you, goodbye. Click buzz.


That's it for the website version - read the rest in my new book!

Out Now! "A Curation of Curious Characters", A Short Story Collection by Andy KJ Cragg

A Curation of Curious Characters, A Short Story Collection by Andy KJ Cragg
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